Sweet treats for the literary, the musical, the feminine, and the generally filthy.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

DJ's and Crust Punks

It was a very sweaty and dusty day at Merriweather Post last weekend for the Free Fest. We started off the day sipping lime flavored vodka and sprite under a tarp we strung between two cars. Everyone was wearing green bandanas around their nose and mouths because of the dust and smoke rising from the Dance Forest. People were sniffing the air and exchanging glances with their friends and then looking around suspiciously to see who the pot culprit was. Wow, we really are at a rock and roll festival, do ya smell that??
Joan Jett looks fantastic and sounds even better. It was bizarre to watch a rock concert so traditional when everything else we heard that day was inspired by ironic looks back at her genre. She played "Cherry Bomb" and "Crimson and Clover," and ripped up a guitar solo. I wonder what it must be like to be a grungy-ass crust punk one day and the next Hollywood is sucking at your fame teat, and casting teenage heartthrobs to play you in a movie about yourself, and how hot it is that you were a raging young lesbian rocker back in the day. It's gotta be weird. I'd hate to see that mainstream depiction of my private life while I'm still living. Must be creepy to see how Hollywood interprets your motivations in life and shit. I haven't yet seen Runaways, so I may be revising this assessment accordingly.
I think it's safe to say women really dominated this show. From Kim of Matt and Kim, who is irritatingly adorable standing on her drum stool, to Alexis Krauss of Sleigh Bells teaching the crowd how to scream, to the absolutely gorgeous albeit bitchy and demanding MIA, in my mind these were the best performances. Seeing Pavement back together was great, but after the mosh pit and crowd-surfing at Sleigh Bells, it was a sit-down show. LCD was fun but my friend couldn't stop punching at the "From this position..." song, so pretty soon it was more funny than badass. Neon Indian, as I previously predicted was my favorite in the electronic music. But Chromeo killed it, and seeing Dave 1 in person, it's clear now what look my friend John Q is going for, and apologies for the oversized photos.


Maryland brought out a funny crowd, mostly because it's a funny place. In the one section, you have hyper-functional teens growing up in Montgomery and Howard counties, being groomed for government and finance, journalism and medicine. Then you have the rest of Maryland, all hopped up on Starbucks and trash T.V. They've carved out existences in corn fields and cubicles, then show up to these shows after hitting the neighborhood tattoo parlor, and look like it's maybe the first time they've bothered to shower or leave their pet-infested apartments they share with their grab bag, significant-enough other. They show up way too early to each show to set up camp with the girl in the front and the dude with arms around from behind. The goal of this game is to try to stand perfectly still, no matter how awesome the music is or how everyone else is dancing.
I have a hard time understanding why these people bother to show up to anything. Stay at home with the comforting scents of cat piss and cock breath on your unwashed sheets.
I love going to shows, obviously. And a good festival where you're torn between great acts can be life-affirming. To be sure, the whole thing was the highlight of my month. Getting to dance hard in the middle of a bunch of other sweaty hard dancers is the stuff of ecstasy. I don't let the lame-asses giving me dirty looks for stepping on the blanket they plopped down in the middle of a standing crowd ruin my fun. But I will say that it's exhausting to have to look around at all the douchebags who you apparently have something in common with. I'm egalitarian as hell, but I like to think of myself as part of a group of genuine music appreciators, so it bums me out to be breathing the same air as some people I see at concerts. Sometimes I much prefer to blast out my apartment windows, get all dressed up and do my own music video in front of the mirror. The music fantasy transcends all the realities of band drama, egos and the sheep mentality of the bandwaggoners, and on some days I think this is how I prefer to keep it.
Speaking of crustiness, the last show I caught was Laughing Man opening for Wavves at the Rock and Roll Hotel, D.C.. LM is a trio, and I know of them through the drummer who is a server at Sticky Rice down there. Their sound is slightly psychedelic yet early funk-age, they've all got great chops and really tight style. And everyone should know by now how much I sweat Wavves, even though they put on a weird show. I ran into an old coworker who was wasted and trashing Nathan Williams regarding his stage water. Then they got onstage and I saw what he was talking about. He's the asshole you love to hate. He makes himself accessible that way, an easy target because he's goating you on and taking hits at everyone, everything, the venue, the crowd, themselves. So in between songs when the stage banter gets passed amongst him and his ex-Reatard rhythm section, and people are started to walk out, and others up front are yelling at them to play a fucking song already, some people are laughing including me and I'm kind of enjoying all the flack they're getting for not playing the show.
Fuck man, if you want to hear the songs, go the fuck home and listen to the album. You're here to see US, don't forget. This is who we are, and we are wasted, and the band leader is famously stoned and the drummer is on acid, and this is what you came for. This is the image you get off to, so deal with it.
I, for one, moshed the shit out of that show which I was not prepared for in boots and a threadbare see-thru T-shirt. All the dickbags ogling me in the five minutes I was at the bar I got to shove back into the shit and have them turn around and look completely baffled. The spooning couples got pushed out and shoved to the back or the sidelines. (Have I mentioned I hate concert couples??) The band members are complete and utter assholes, and pissed off nearly all my friends that night who either worked at the Hotel or were playing with them. The nice musicians in Laughing Man were taken aback, and the rock band Christmas Island from sunny Sandy Eggo were politely baffled at the rudeness of these Adolescents-wannabes who look like they haven't showered in weeks. And I'm loving all of it. Long live obnoxious punk rockers, but maybe should stick to the studio if a tour is just a good excuse to weed out the weak in your fanbase.



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