There are indications that what we wear and how we dress in some way gives others the right to harass, molest, assault, or kill people. It's an ancient type of American fear: women who call attention to themselves by being too intellectual, too physically attractive, or simply occupying space at a certain time of day have been shamed, prosecuted, and killed publicly; black teenagers who wear clothing at a certain angle, walk with a certain gait, or again occupy space at a specific time are being stopped and gunned down in a shower of bullets.
There are precedents set for this type of fear that explain but do not excuse the heavy-handed reaction to the so-called provocations. For example, the pop-culture smear of young black men dating back to slave-era was essentially white men's fear that their power would be challenged; in short, the fear of mutiny through physical violence or by procreating with white women. Young black men were dehumanized, though these fears (of their violent oppression being challenged and the blood of the white race being "tainted") are so ancient and reptilian that the so-called "civilized" white men were really just showing their true colors (so to speak.) Who really ends up looking like the big, dumb, animals? (To say nothing of the bull that escaped a slaughterhouse in Baltimore this summer, and while apparently peacefully trotting through the city, was gunned down by police in a shower of bullets in a civilian-populated area.) The war on women is equally as ancient, pretty much dating back to the days of Christianity when the Bible was widely interpreted to suggest that God was a man, who had a son who would save everyone's soul from the sins of a woman who corrupted men. In America, women who were curious or in any way stepped outside of the oppressive normative behavior required them by the men in charge could be killed.
While the events in Ferguson, MO are alarming to say the least, I am anxious for more actual facts to come to light. We need more information from the protestors, because as we know, just about every media outlet is owned by special-interest groups tied to powerful politicians or corporations. However, it does not diminish the need for the country to DEMAND that police be held responsible for their actions. (Editorial: Maybe we need to stop letting all the dumb jock high school dropouts swing their dicks around with impunity?) Based on America's history, I find it more likely that the police are panicking and over-reacting to peaceful protests (especially incriminating is their denial of media coverage and threats to those peacefully documenting), but that does not mean it is impossible that a few protestors have broken off from the peaceful crowd and instigated violence, thereby negating the righteousness of their cause. Of course, protestors will speak loudly to defend the cause, saying no one threw anything, therefore the escalation of the police response, ie. the rubber bullets, is entirely unjust. And of course the police will respond by saying they were provoked in such a way as to increase the severity of their response. Of course, of course. So everyone's saying exactly what they should be saying, and everyone is weighing in exactly as they ought to. We are quick to judge, quick to condemn, quick to defend. So if you don't want to hear the enflamed rhetoric of people on either side, howsabout we not engage commenters by using perhaps soon-to-be-discredited facts or allegations to prove this or that, or else we end up playing into our own stereotypes, and our society progresses to an absolute zero, stalemate game. Instead, let's continue to READ READ READ, watch the videos, spread information not opinions. An 18 year-old boy or man, depending on which side is speaking, is dead, and we need people to do their jobs properly to find out why, and what steps need to be taken to halt this trend.
It makes me angry when protestors loot and throw rocks, but it doesn't surprise me. In every mob, no matter how righteous the cause or seemingly united the group, there will always be a few whose greed and selfishness take over. It is those few who should be punished, NOT the cause, and not the others who are still non-violently protesting. People lose focus in a mob, which often becomes its own animal with its own set of unpredictable behaviors. But without our numbers, we cannot effect change as quickly.
It makes me angry too when we fail to defend and protect each other from injustice by spreading it ourselves. I'm going to shift my scope from public news to my own personal experience, because in the end that's what I have when it comes to the question of gender. We've been seeing a lot of attention paid to the issue of street harassment, and it's incredibly liberating to see so many people of BOTH genders finally addressing this. A friend posted this article on his facebook page that urges men to be active rather than passive bystanders to street harassment. The most common reaction I get from my male friends when I relate my latest story of street harassment is, "Do they actually think that will work?" Meaning, do the harassers think this is the way to have sex with a woman? But it almost *never* feels sexually-charged to me, rather it feels like being bullied at school when someone pushes you against a locker and speaks into your face at close-range. That behavior could also appear sexually-charged if it were between genders, but somehow we know it's not.
Intimidation comes in many forms that often do not include overt physical contact. We're taught in sexual harassment education courses at work and school that sexual harassment is a blanket term that includes many different types of behavior ranging from the non-verbal to unwanted physical contact. This street harassment is an intimidation method, which again stems from fear. These men have a psychological problem, and they are taking it out on others, just like your bully from school who was probably under great emotional stress at home and was displacing his aggression and anger onto classmates.
(Editorial: this is why I think the whole anti-bully initiative should focus on, perhaps, anti-CHILD ABUSE which is often what produces bullies to begin with!! Hitting your child is not RAISING your child, and should be a prosecutable offense. I heard a women outside the library today bitching about how a shop owner told her she could not threaten her child in the store, and how she responded, "Lemme tell YOU somethin, how I raise my child..."blah blah blah. I've heard parents say, "It worked for me, it works for my kids!" But what about the maxim that violence indicates a failure of words? Or in the case of child-raising with which I admittedly have no experience, perhaps a failure of boundary-setting or consequence-education? When we resort to violence, we exhibit animal tendencies, which triggers a whole series of animal-like behaviors in children who are learning from us how to treat others. We have access to faculties that negate the need for physical violence, so why don't we f--ing USE them?)
Men need to be watchdogs for each other, and call each other out on this kind of behavior: "It does not make you more manly. No one else is impressed. You are making a fool of yourself and your gender." We should be celebrating the men who speak out against this, who are using their historically-bestowed power in society to take steps towards gender equality, just as white people with their inherited power should be using it to take steps towards racial equality. Positive reenforcement. Works with kids, works with your pets, works with adults.
Women also need to be supporters of each other. I was confused then disappointed when a female writer I was complimenting then asked me, "Is that sexy dress you're wearing working?" Confused, I responded in my usual sassy Mae West voice, "Honey, it's workin' overtime!" But that's not what she meant, so she persisted: "Is it getting the desired reaction? Who are you wearing it for?" and then I met her with a steely gaze and said, "Myself. I'm wearing it to feel good, because I like how it looks on me and how it makes me feel, and I'm wearing it because it makes me feel good." Turned out I had been in conversation with a man she herself desired, and that's how she was handling herself, at 40-some years old. Grow up, bitch.
And grow up America. Use your words. Don't hit. Don't bully. Find a passion. Take care of your people. Read books. Develop empathy. Do better.
